Around Zion - a lonely cyclist


Saturday, September 5, 2009

An Obituary (sort of!)

I thought I’ve found the one I want to hold on to. I thought that I would be happy, by making you happy. Every single moment of my life in the last couple of years was dedicated to you. YOU. Then you dedicated your time to someone else, or at least looking for someone else. You admitted that to me and I was happy, didn’t think of me but of you, that finally you might be happy for a change. I thought you were happy and I will be able to make you happy, in spite of all differences that we have, ‘cos nobody’s perfect. The key to happiness is to find someone who will love you despite all the mistakes, who will be at your side when nobody wants to be. That gives life a purpose. A meaning. I guess I’ll always look for that purpose. Again. And Again.

I wanted you to be happy in life. No matter what happen to me, I will always try that. Some people will probably tell you to exploit that fact. Some people will probably tell me not to get exploited. In the end it does not matter. I tried so hard and got so far. We will survive, either with each other or separately. But will we be happy? Only time will tell.

If someday you want me to hold you in my arms and tell you everything’s gonna be alright, you know I will do just that. I will do anything for you, love is a decision to me and I chose to love you, in spite of anything. My love doesn't need a reason. If something unexpected happen and I get hurt by you, I might be devastated. But I will still love you. Because it’s YOU.

Will I find you in my solitude? Will you see me in another? We were looking for someone else. I know I'll find another. You'll find another. I'll never find you. You'll never find me. If we do, it will be us. Again.

And when we meet, Which I'm sure we will, All that was there, Will be there still
I'll let it pass, And hold my tongue, And you will think, That I've moved on.

I will go down with this ship, and I won't put my hands up and surrender,
There will be no white flag above my door, I'm in love and always will be.