Universe is small?

Last night i was outside of my apt,

and i was watching the up above to sky

and i thought,

how small our life is 

while i see some stars blinking that probably does not exists 

at this very moment 

anymore.

Our Universe, 

Milky Way, 

Our galaxy,

everything is infinite.

Even how much do we even know about

the unobservable universe,

beyond the reach of the strongest telescope in the world.

beyond the reach of the inter-galactic spaceships we built,

or will be building.

Isn't it fascinating and equally ironic to know that the light from the smallest, most redshifted galaxies originated maybe roughly 13 billion years ago,

while we ponder upon the memories from last year!

Talk about mathematical comparison between the two, huh?
and when i look at the event horizon at night,

i feel so relaxed and calm

unlike i used to feel 

when i was child 

and i used to look at the stars

and wondering 

what and where the hell am i looking at?

And if you start considering Multi verse,

how many this piece of crap 

exists elsewhere?

P.S: Its kinda obvious how small our earth is, if you consider the enitre (observable + Unobservable) Universe, the position of our earth is like this :

Universe -> Observable universe -> Large-scale structures -> Virgo Supercluster -> Local Group -> Milky Way Galaxy -> Orion Arm of the Milky Way -> Gould Belt -> Local Bubble -> Local Interstellar Cloud -> Solar System

 -> Earth

An abstract Labyrinth called Friendship

Friends are like Wine, the older the relationship, the better.

Friends are like Lipstick, the formality is easy to wear off.

Friends are only human, they can sometime falter.

Friends are pain in some places, always ready to piss you off!

Friends are like piece of your mind, wavelength's has to match,

Friends are like a Shrink, will surelly know when you itch.

Friendship is like a huge door without a latch, 

Friends are always ready to be the irritating bitch!

Friendship is like an ocean, the vastness is not comprehensible at once,

Friends are always couple of cups of coffee away from you,

Friends are nature's way of keeping you away from dunce,

Friendhip should be like a shirt; torned ones are easy to sew.

Thanks for being my friend in good and bad days,

Nothing i say can show you how greatful i'm,

So let's do the simple thing instead that says,

"let's continue to have some jagged memories in tandem".

Poem: Amalkanti by Nirendranath Chakraborty :

Amalkanti is my friend,
We did our schooling together.
He used be a regular latecomer in class, not good in study,
when asked about some word-meaning,
he used to be looking at the window, dumbfounded.
Then we felt really bad.

Some wanted to be master, some doctor, some lawyer.
Amalkanti didn't want any of that.
He wanted to be the sun-beam.
The shy sun-beam of rainwashed, crow-drenched afternoon,
Which sticks around the leaves of rose-apple like a chuckle.

Now some of us are master or doctor or lawyer.
Amalkanti couldn't be the sun-beam.
He is working in a dark press.
Sometime he comes to see me,
We drink tea, chit-chat for a while and when he says "I have to go."
I give him send-off until the front-door.

Among us who is the Master,
He would've been the doctor,
Who wanted to be the Doctor,
It wouldn't harm anyway if he was a lawyer.
Still everyone got their wish fulfilled, except Amalkanti.
He couldn't become the sun-beam.
That Amalkanti, who used to think about sun-beam,
and one day wanted to BECOME the sun-beam.


This is one of my fav poem of all time - somehow the concept was really intriguing to me, we want to be a lot of things, but probably nobody wanted to be sunbeam!

ekta khola chithi akaser kache.

With due apology to all my non-bengali-speaking friends, once in a while i feel an urge to write something in my mother toungue which i can't simply ignore right now.

amader jibone anek kichu notun abiggota hoi jegulo amra sob somoi thikthak bhaabe prakash korte parina kintu tar mane to ei noi je segulo sotyi noi - segulo nijer modhye amra feel korte pari na ?

ekta ektu kom sona ekta anyorakam ekta gaan sunchilam - gaan ta jani naa kono karone amar bhishon priyo "Arjun Sen" by Jotugriho...

"tabu aj din chole jai, sohorer opare,

protidin mon more jai, protidin... prantore,

bhenge jai swapnera andhare.."

prithibi ta sotyi e boroi nisthur, se kono kichu r protikha kore na - ekta duto manus r mrityu tar mota chamrai dag kate na , kar jibone ki dukho kosto - take casually katiye diye dei ... and life goes on... pore thake jara - tara darwin dadu r twotto poreni ba porle o bojheni! 

amader ei ekta jibon e beshi somoi paaoa jai naa anondo korar , sutorang jibon katano r jibon take upobhog korar modhye anek parthoyoko theke jai.

sutorang amra amar dukho kosto niye mon kharap kore bari te bose thakte pari, atahba segulo bhule giye khola akaser niche cricket khelte beriye porte pari . ami dwitiota korchi - what about u?

Niagara and 1000 Islands, New YorkNiagara Falls, 1000 Islands and En route - many places in NJ, PA and NY

Niagara and 1000 Islands, New York

Once in a while u need to wash away your fatigues and i don't know if any other falls is better than Niagara in doing it for you aautomatically!

Weekend is baseless unless you spend it absolutely erratically!!

Weekend is the lost desert from your weekday's dinner.
Life is pointless if you planned your life during these time,
It's time for enjoyment of your heart to soul, both outer and inner.
Feeling of relaxed journey in your own way is worth not more than a dime.

I feel alive every weekend, and afterwards a zombie to be,
reincarnation such as this is boring but a must have for my life.
Pointless laziness is the point of having a weekend to me,
Haphazard erratic thoughts are the output of a weekendified life!

Weekend is baseless unless you spend it absolutely erratically!
Weekend is four-dimensional, time flies before you know it.
Weekend is beautiful if you looking though the window philosophically,
Weekend is romantic if you are spending it with someone distinct.

An Echo of this seems like Déjà vu all over again!


P.S: Well, this is just some realization, some retrospect in how i feel about life at weekend, did not able to cover all the aspect, its just a gist of gist of everybody's life. since i am writing it in weekend, i am becoming hypocrite in a some way - so more description might be available on a weekday's post!!

A funny way of looking at my life in a plagiarized music-maniac fashion!

I feel like Loosing myself (not like Eminem),
into the "High Hopes" of my peers.
Not a "Zombie" yet, but somehow it seems like "Comfortably numb".
I wanted to get out of "Cloud number nine",
to show everyone that "I'm alive!".
But i couldn't find "the reason" and now i'm "Crawling in the dark",

So "Here I am", this is me;
"The tide is turning" and the I am trying to “Coming back to life”,
So from now onwards I will be optimistic until “Evening falls”,
I will wait for “My December”,
And remember “All the things she said”;
But try the attitude of “Don’t worry, be happy”!

“In the end”, I will think about “My Immortal”,
I will try to feel the “gravity of love”.
Without it, “My life is for rent”, I feel so “numb”,
It’s a “Mad World” out there, and there are “No Apologies”.
Yet “nothing else matters”, because I have “my love”,
Only how I wish, how I “Wish you were here”.

Poem: Still life goes on...

In every human life,
There are some moments when one is sad and depressed.
Frustrated from every zone of life.
And feel like leaving everything and going away.
Still life goes on.
Some memories in which
one is wrapped with tension,
One wants to get out of here,
and fly high in the sky.
But can't run away, and still life goes on.

Some moments in which
the loved one hurts other's sentiment,
One needs a support, a shoulder to cry on,
But doesn't find one, and still life goes on.

Some moments in which one gets life,
or so intensely hurt that one wants to die,
One wishes to end their life
At that very moment, but still life goes on.

And in each life there will be one day,
when there is a deadlock,
And then the people cry,
and try to show that they are concerned.
Then the questions arise,
Are they going to wait for one's death,
To care, to understand the one.
If so, then wait till death but until then,
Life goes on.

AND I CALLED HER A FRIEND……(by mistake??)

Its usually said that people remember their school life forever….those are the best days in a man’s life.Well,I do remember those years of growing up…..albeit for all the wrong reasons.Be it for some tyrant personalities or for being lonely among the crowd of thousands of people dressed in similar fashion,school days literally haunt(and taunt) me till date.
Well,it was on one such days that I found a girl…..a friend.To say it without boasting,I enjoyed being at my best in academics at school.I enjoyed the lonely position a step ahead of others in class.My friend was close behind but could never be at par…..she cringed at every mistake she made that widened the gap between us.I silently(and sometimes not so silently) expressed a deep satisfaction at every such point in school.
However destiny had things planned otherwise.Like the bse stock market my slide from the top had to happen sooner or later.And the inevitable happened sooner than I expected.I slipped once and my friend never allowed her opportunity to slip.With amazing determination and focus,she moved forward and with surprising laziness I never tried to stop my downfall.Well,the gap between us widened again,but this time our positions had changed.
What changed everything for me was that this time the gap created a void between our emotional bond……a space which has drifted us apart for ever.Was it she who avoided me or was it me who did’nt want to face her?Well,I am certain it was me.Wonder why?Aha,that’s easy to tell.After school I completely lost all ties with her(why do I say after school?).But she made sure that I come to know whatever she achieves in life.She boasted,her family was no less!I ducked her phone calls-she came to my house!She made sure that I know every step that she takes in her indomitable pursuit of success that she began so many years back,leaving me behind.
I wonder does she do all this purposely,only to make me feel the lows that I made her feel?? Had she not got her revenge,yet?I lament that these actions of her has soured our relationship to an unimaginable extent.Well,you might wonder why I am complaining,why am I so bitter about something that I inwardly know is my due…..well because of the fact that she makes me suffer the same way that she perhaps had many years back….I am no one to judge her but then why is she so hypocritical by calling us friends.What sort of a friend would do these things and keep repeating such things??C’mon she can tell me face on-I am not afraid….bring it on.And then maybe someday in future I will happily delete this post from my blog!

Waiting?

Tired,
Sleepy,
Dreamy,
one more day passing away.
Aloof,
Indifferent,
Careless,
just like other 364 day?

Affection,
Love,
Understanding,
some adjectives with some meaning.
Distress,
Moody,
Stubbornness,
some more with lot mote sense.

This life, this night, this earth,
These people, this work, this holiday,
Could i care less?
Every people for himself,
Every raindrop is not as beautiful as dew,
There's nothing much to tell
but
I will wait for you.

Anti-Metrophobic

Friday Night
Music on
Fireplace lit
Sky full of stars,
Omnipotent personality
Plagiarism sets in
Go away.

Put some coat on,
Go outside
Feel rain in your skin
My love for you
is drenched,
Washed away,
like glass of water
in Atlantic ocean.

Satire is hyped,
Love is boring.
Genophobia is overrated,
Life sucks.
Cynical feeling
around Pink's wall
Go outside
Get a fucking life.

Black sky prevails
wonderful midnight
1 mile walk
its Saturday already
goodbye psychophobia,
grabbed a spoon
missing you

Life rebooted
waiting has began
sleeping time
insomnia is past
Dream on.
See you soon,
Are you awake?

A funny way of looking at Fun!

What is Fun? How do you know that you are having real fun and not like one of those dumb cartoons which is forcing to make you laugh, but really you want to roll your eyes and get out of here. Its funny that people has different perception of fun, what is funny and what is not.

I used to know one friend who used to go poor villages and spend one day with little children, playing with them, teaching basic stuffs and helping them out - either monetary or other way. And he used to say that it's fun for him ! Now that makes you think how broad can the defination of "Fun" might be, if you know how much peculiar and different people can be.



Fun is also sense of humor, its a common saying that you loose everything if you loose your sense of humor! I believe that I am having fun with whatever i am doing, as long as i am with people I love - i care about. Now that's not actually the well-known definition of Fun, but i can live with this definition. So this angle of vision is also kinda fun - isn't it?

A boring un-poem with more boring not-so-catchy title!

Procrastinating is something i am really good at,
I have been doing it for years now.
Commitment is something i used to fear the most; something very unlike of me,
Now i know that was one form procrastinating - a very serious kind.
Life is a journey where in each step you choose some form of commitment,
either you know it or you don't.

Friendly atmosphere is something i am always looking for,
Not particularly xenophobic though, still change is something i generally resist.
Self-proclaimed dreamer, this form of me worries about the unknown future,
not knowing that every moment can be transformed to ice-cream if you know the preparation.
Or you are screwed, royally!

Love is something i always thrived for; not knowing the ramification,
And whenever i find it, i realize i was not looking for it; rather it was looking for me,
feeling of love and care are how you refresh your memory from day-to-day dust,
Being in love is like being in a metro: a claustrophobic but comforting journey,
with unknown destination.

Contingency plan for this life...

Lets face it - life is a cruel, cynical joke in which we all get insulted in a humorous way. So it will not hurt to say that life has indeed a great sense of humor - its just that its dark humor, its black humor, its a dry sarcastic one which some people will not appreciate at all. Consider the facts for a while and you will know i am not being sarcastic here at all, most of us will always feel that life is not treating us well - grass is always greener on the other side. If you have money, you can buy anything but you can't buy satisfaction, unless you consider a big house, a Porsche and a huge bank balance even after these two is satisfaction, in which case there's no point reading this crap (which is crap anyway!) beyond this snippet!

Well said Fred! So what now? Where are we? Lets revise the plan "B" - the Contingency plan for this f#$@d up life, where everyone gets to do whatever they really want, not what they pretend they want. Pretending goes well with laxatives, unless you already proved to be a universally accepted fully certified unambiguous moron, in which case pretending is an allegorical euphemism for real commitment problem in every aspect of life. In our normal life we come across lots of such morons who only exists to complicate your life further. Big deal? In plan "B", lets eradicate them, not by actually killing them, bu overpowering themselves by making yourself a bigger moron! Everybody can be a pain in the rear end, its just need a erratic mind with a bizarre angle of vision. In our normal life we get hurt from the people we love. In plan "B", lets make sure that we choose people who will get hurt (i didn't mean physically!) while trying to hurt you. And if you choose the wonderful policy of "ignore the insults, remember the compliments", true heaven is indeed a place on earth.

And do u know what is the biggest plan ? Lazying, Procrastinating, bullshitting, laughing, living ur life to the fullest without worrying much about the contingency plan, if you are happy with the way you are, every plan is worth to have it. Let's forget planning and start living, shall we?

Hapazard thoughts coming from a tired mind.

I came back from office and find myself locked out outside - our apt key seems to be tired of working and thought of taking a "kitkat" break for an hour. So i was waiting outside - i was sitting in the staircase and was thinking about the bitch called life - my 25 year's funky life so far. Tired mind is a wonderful nest of bullshit thoughts and my not-so-young mind is certainly not an exception! Suddenly i wanted to compare my current life with the life back home - what would i have done if i locked myself outside like this and i knew that what exactly i could have done, at least 3 friends of mine in the neighborhood would have assumed what can be the result.

Its the sweet cool breeze of the lakes near my folk's place is what came to my mind - don't know why but suddenly i wished i was there, wondering around the entire neighborhood as i used to do. I wanted to take a break from this life for a moment and just thought of sitting in the school ground in my locality with a Bacardi breezer in hand, it seems that happiness can sometimes very very cheap, provided you have the capability to lower your expectations to the point which has already been satisfied!

i know what i need. i need a good night's sleep. But is that all? Maybe, Maybe not.

If these words were people, I would embrace their genocide.

If these words were people, I would embrace their genocide.

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=banish

not much to say - just check it for urself.

Late realization...

Dawn's darkness is the start, i always like to see the twilight,
Shadow the day is the source of energy transformed into daylight.
Illusion is psychosomatic equivalence of a mirage,
Life is fun; as long as you know the difference between home and garage.

I love being philosophical, but sometimes it's just not right,
As i walk into outside to see the moonlight,
I realize why we love being sad, being unjust,
The feeling of discontent is stronger than human lust.

Happiness gives the need of euphoria, so to speak,
Love gives the meaning to life, so you have someone to pick,
everybody has somebody, and yet nobody owes anybody anything,
Morning dew is the best thing to show you the excitement of tingling!

Life is not just some colorful orientation film for a new class,
It's every moment is utopia, if you have the right sunglass.
Its fun having fun, i am just here to cash in,
Let's start leaving life without having to lean.

Late realization is better than nothing at all....

No...not again

I was busy(read gloomy) for the last few days...so did'nt really have the time to upload a post.But today I sit here with all hopes shattered...with all beginnings stopping over a dead end.Perhaps I am at an all time low...I am lonely among friends and family and wanting to avoid everyone on earth.I had hoped that this year would bring in hope and much enthusiasm for the future....but I have actually started wondering whether I have made the cardinal sin of demanding more from life than it actually has in store for me??Maybe I was hoping for miracles that,as always, did'nt happen?Do I really have a future in what I have endeavoured in doing for the past one year?Will my targets always remain elusive?
I live everyday in the fear of something omnious happening to me.....I have also become outrageously superstitious and a lazy believer of destiny in the meantime...small things like wearing my right socks first or even using a blue pen while writing have never affected my life in this way before.I know I need to get over this fast otherwise that dangerous disease(read depression)will surround me with its strong nasty roots!
But beware!I am not writing this praying for sympathy....I have actually learnt a lot during this phase and one of them is that the best person who knows you is you yourself....so I am the best judje of what I actually can do in life!Guess I just need to have a strong mind and put up a brave face to all my future adverseries.

Signing off for the day while gearing up for a fight against all DEVILS!

I mourn her death

I start my first blog on this New Year remembering the most significant incident of the year gone by.....THE ASSASSINATION OF BENAZIR BHUTTO.This is my attempt to pay homage not only to a great leader but also to a great fighter.........a fighter against oppression to humanity,a fighter for democracy.This horrifying incident has afeected me personally in an astounding way...I must confess I have not been an out-and-out admirer of Bhutto....but it is her courage that struck me the most.Her decision to stay on and fight for her people despite repeated theats to her life only showed that her ambition was not for the highest office in her country but also her indomitable fight to restructure the ruling system in the country of her birth.
'Benazir'-means the one without an example.She hails from one of the most prestigious political families of Pakistan.Her father Zulfikar ali Bhutto was a former PM.He was hanged by the military regime.Zulfikar ali was survived by two sons,but it was his daughter who was destined to carry the Bhutto Baton forward......and how well she did.Representing the People's Party of Pakistan(PPP),she was elected the first woman PM of an islamic nation in 1988.However,due to corruption charges,and many other unavoidable circumstances she had to sacrifice her seat to Nawaz Sherif in the middle of a second term.She and her husband Zardari were sentenced to 5-year jail terms.It was then that Bhutto decided to go into exile...only to slowly rebiuld her support group outside Pakistan just as she had done after her father's death.
As far as her personal life is concerned,she is remembered as a carefree and funloving person,often enjoying cruise rides with her handsome elder brother during her stint at Oxford.She created a great impact as the Pak PM's daughter during her visit to India for the signing of the Shimla Agreement Between the two countries.She did not take a single day maternity leave during the birth of her son in 1988.......not because she ignored motherhood but she believed that her win was important for the people of the country.There are those who remember her as the 'Lady who gave birth in Office'.
I consider her to be one of the greatest patriots-one who laid down her life unflinchinly at the service of her country and her people.Once in a lifetime does a country get a leader like that....however,there are many who think otherwise and her brutal killing is a finger pointer at that.People draw parallels of her life with that of Rajiv Gandhi.....both burdened with huge expectations on young soldiers,both forward-thinking inspirational leaders and both killed at a time when they were the frontrunners for the post of PM.But I consider her work more difficult-mainly because on one hand she was considered an outsider(mainly an US 'ambassador' for democracy)on one hand and also Pakistan's only hope for democracy.So convincing the already existing beaurocrats of her will to do good must not have been easy,neither coming back from exile after 8 long years.I salute her as a great woman,but more so because of her outstanding belief in power of the people.
However,after the death of Bhutto where does Pakistan stand?I am informed that the PPP will now be chaired by her 19-year son Bilawal Bhutto.He inherits the glamour of Oxford,but does he inherit his mother's drive....her passion for the people and the country??Well,only time will tell....but time will also tell whether Bhutto's dream of a Democratic Pakistan was indeed an UTOPIA?"Democracy is our revenge",she said.

(Source of informatoin regading her personal life and political career:The Times Of India)

A rhetorical piece of promise for another new year...

Finally, the end of another mundane year and the beginning of the next. Another year without my most favorite ppl on the earth, another year with almost nothing to be thankful for. Still optimism is something I always strives for, so i am happy with whatever life has given me this year, whatever fun & enjoyment I got. Another year with immense progress of science, we almost have invented computers that can think like human being, probbaly the only thing in which people will be better than computers is irrational & erratic behavior, unless, of course they invent a psychotic computer! We really feel like driven by technology, so if you are unable to ride a swing, the first thing you look for is a manual override! With all kidding aside, I can honestly say that i'm learning a lot - the only skills I have the patience to learn are those which have no real application in life. Story of my life, it is.

There are some things I'm grateful for, one development that i am thankful for(so far), so the year wasn't that all bad. Hope I'll be able to be these confident the next year also.

Another new year, a new set of rules, new optimism, new friends, new form of laziness, new life. This year will also pass & I'll be come up with another set of resolution. Wish you all a lazy & surreal new year!

Until the next draft.....