No...not again

I was busy(read gloomy) for the last few days...so did'nt really have the time to upload a post.But today I sit here with all hopes shattered...with all beginnings stopping over a dead end.Perhaps I am at an all time low...I am lonely among friends and family and wanting to avoid everyone on earth.I had hoped that this year would bring in hope and much enthusiasm for the future....but I have actually started wondering whether I have made the cardinal sin of demanding more from life than it actually has in store for me??Maybe I was hoping for miracles that,as always, did'nt happen?Do I really have a future in what I have endeavoured in doing for the past one year?Will my targets always remain elusive?
I live everyday in the fear of something omnious happening to me.....I have also become outrageously superstitious and a lazy believer of destiny in the meantime...small things like wearing my right socks first or even using a blue pen while writing have never affected my life in this way before.I know I need to get over this fast otherwise that dangerous disease(read depression)will surround me with its strong nasty roots!
But beware!I am not writing this praying for sympathy....I have actually learnt a lot during this phase and one of them is that the best person who knows you is you yourself....so I am the best judje of what I actually can do in life!Guess I just need to have a strong mind and put up a brave face to all my future adverseries.

Signing off for the day while gearing up for a fight against all DEVILS!