Around Zion - a lonely cyclist


Wednesday, December 26, 2007


We wait each day for a new beginning……a new ambition,a new motivation.From the very early childhood,I often used to daydream.About what,you could ask.Well,from seeing myself scaling the heights of Mt. Everest to speaking to the ETs,from flying a fighter aircraft to winning the Maths olympiad!(well,I now think the first 3 were still weird to say the least.......but winning a maths olympiad,wow that was sure some guts to even dream of.......I am eternally terrified of that subject!).I did not notice when I had started to pen down all these in my notes.........its fun to read all of them...the greatest days of my childhood,the fondest and saddest memories of school and college,the times when our family came together to celebrate.....I had shared all those with me for more than 12 years now.
As a person,people around me say that I come across as ambitious,too serious and very down to earth(Wow...I must say I have hidden my dreamy part of me well).Okay,enough of self-praise(actually I am my personal favourite......a narcissist you would say).I consider myself sometimes stubborn,at other times impatient-I often fail to judje the implications of a rash action.As far as my beliefs go,I am an outright feminist,a believer in hard work and compassion.I am also a strong believer in the powers of the Almighty.My hero?The legendary Mrs.Indira Gandhi-an outstanding example of equal passion towards work and family-the truly balanced woman.Much ahead of her times.I consider her as Mentor.However,much nearer to home,I consider my mother a great tutor of life-I have learnt a thousand different things from her,in every aspect in life.Her never tiring energy in pursuing the best that life has to offer......her care for the family.....her selfless nature-i consider it all super-human.
I have often been eluded by targets and struggled in the pursuit of it....but suddenly when I hav achieved it all,I had failed to cherish it.I don't know why.But still I do not give in-u could call me obsessed.....but I will say I enjoy life like this and I try not to give in to its tests.I live life entirely on my own terms-cherishing my freedom and sqeezing out as much as I can.
But today I am here to for a special reason-to follow up my childhood passion of writing(writing anything I want for giving expression to my inner self.......n sometimes also writing nonsense in the process).I look forward to a very BEAUTIFUL BEGINNING of a new chapter in my life and a long lasting relationship with ZION-THE UTOPIAN WORLD AROUND US.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

...And the Chrismas we spent together

Sitting in my balcony,looking up at the star-studded sky,I recollect his face.Almost nothing was noteworthy,not even worthy of a second glance-had it not been for those eyes,those large dark eyes.You could see his world thru them,you could visualize his inside,his thoughts,feel his pain and sense his restlessness.Initially I was often apprehensive of his cheerful gait,of his continued philanthropic interest in being the messiah of problems in others’ lives.But slowly when I got to know him this hesitation faded. I realised that all these were not the results of self-imposed hypocrisy but the prolonged pursuit of that one cherised goal in life-that of happiness.We bonded well in the days of my college.He was not an outstanding academic but a great enthusiast.The originality of his ideas and the penetration of his vision often left me awestruck.There was never a time when a person associating with him would leave empty-handed.
A Christian by birth,he celebrated Christmas with his family with great enthusiasm every year.The festivities continued till the beginning of the new year.He was always visibly relieved to finish off that December sem at college as he had to rush off to help his cousins in all kinds of preparations.It was the last year of college and quite a few of his friends(including me)had been invited to the festivities at his home.I did know much about wine,but with a little research here and there,I managed to pick up a fine one.I was greeted with the warmest welcome ever in my life.
It was a huge house-they were a family of professional lawyers.They were rich and famous in the city.His family members ranged from a 90+ to even a 6 year old(and they were literally uncountable).He switched several roles that evening-from that of a careful host to a cheery friend,of a babysitter to his nephews to that of a bartender.The most amazing thing was that he managed all of these with a natural prowess and a handsome smile.
I guess he was the only one in the party through whom the meaning of the occasion outshone-the celebration of giving unto those who do not possess what you have.He spread the message of the Lord like fire but without a deliberate and conscious effort.His unconditional love and care towards everyone and anyone made him special.Did he need any specific time to celebrate Christmas?-I wondered.
Some said I over estimated.I had no time to listen.Time was flying fast-he had so much to give,and I had so little time to grasp them all.For the first time in my life I found a true tutor of life,hope and love.He taught me to envisage life as a gift with too little a span to have any bitter feelings.He taught to forgive unflinchingly.How wonderfully in harmony he was with his natural self-he exemplified the meaning of ‘other’ in my life.I learnt to think and listen with compassion.He brought me to peace with my inner self.His only moments of pain and restlessness was when he saw others suffer.
Today when I recollect all these,I won’t say he has left a vacuum in my life.Rather I would say his vision still fills every corner of my life.Many said he was too magnamous from outside,but I realised that the simplicity he practiced was too unreal to believe from a distance.Many said he was too ordinary,but I realised that he was only an ordinary being with his mere extra-ordinary qualities.He will remain etched in my memory as an outstanding example of the beauty of life.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Just another dystopic verse ?

The year is almost over now, just a few days to go,
The promise is almost wore out now, with nothing left to show.
I am looking at the perfect sunshine now,
Feeling like deja vu, another set of vow.

Children are dying all over the world,
Stories of war, lie, crime and insanity are the topics not too old.
Life is too cheap and ambiguous for us,
Hell is just another place for a time-pass.

I think dystopia is too costly right here,
When no one even care to shed a tear.
Its time to start nurturing, start deciding our fate,
who knows, tomorrow might be too late?

Its time for the new year resolution for me,
touch the heart of another nihilist to be.
Love unconditionally, and xenophobia is too much to take,
Its a new start, its a new horizon, just I need to learn not to fake.

From now on, i will count the dots in my own way, indeed.

One more Christmas with no gifts to ask for...

Its Christmas time , though I am not really a religious person and I
know Santa Clause is not real (so I don't have to pretend to be good
so that I get some present!), but still Christmas is a happy season
for me. Mostly because we have long weekends and I LOVE long weekends
– four days to spend at home, doing nothing – relaxing – life can
never be more interesting than this! You know, with a traditional
weekend of two days, I am enthralled on Saturday and sat evening is
the best period of my life, knowing that tomorrow I don't have to get
up early! Then Sunday comes and I can do all the nothings I wanted,
but deep inside I know soon it will be evening and that means the time
is almost up. But with a long weekend, I don't have to be mourn for
that – I know I can mourn at the fourth day ! I know this is very
simple thing and you probably thinking "what's the point of writing
this one?" , but again only a blind man can understand another's pain!

This morning I had a wonderful dream. I was dreaming that I am in
countryside (should have been somewhere nearby) and all the roads, the
valley, the trees are covered with snow. It's looking fantabulous and
there's no one but me in sight. I faced with a dilemma between skiing
and sledding (actually it was not actually a dilemma at all, 'cos I
never tried any of them!)

Christmas is the best for one more reason – Its not one long weekend,
its two! Oh My God! Can anything BE much better than this? Christmas
is time of happiness, I know for some people happiness is just a
snowflake in the peak of winter season, but again its angle of vision
is all that matters how you differentiate a wonderful day with its
monotonous counterpart! The next best thing is new year and so its
time for new year resolution. I always take this resolution thing
pretty seriously, sometimes I even decide to make same no of
self-improving resolution as the year we are in, this way I already
have one less resolution to come with!

Wish you all a merry Christmas, for me its again one more Christmas to no gifts to ask for...

Saturday, December 8, 2007

The waiting has began...

When you really like something , when you are doing really something interesting, it does not matter how long are you stuck, you would want to finish the work. Interest is all that matters, as if it is directlyproportional to the no of hours spent on a particular thing, be inanimate object or the opposite! I love technical work, but checkingof the alignment of data and formatting it in a 1000 row excel sheets what drives me crazy – I feel like let's make a day and kill someone so that I get to enjoy the freedom (irony of the day would that be, though!). Today when I look back at the days I had in my not-so-important-at all life so far, I feel like Calvin - "Why isn't my life like a situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of friends with nothing better to do but drop by and instigate wacky adventures? Why aren't my conversations peppered with spontaneous witticisms? Why don't my friends demonstrate heartfelt concern for my well being when I have problems? ...I gotta get my life some writers."
Its finally Friday and that means two more days to spend doing all the nothings I've always wanted. Spending weekend is only fun when you don't plan and spend it, you will feel like there is a lot of things you could have done but end up not doing anything at all, and still its like doing a lot, because deep inside you know the moment Monday morning comes, if have to go someplace, either an institution or the next worse thing (job) and you will end up doing some work; somethingf or somebody else and somebody else makes you do that is not going to make any difference to anybody if you don't do it. Sounds like philosophy of spoonerism, but it's the common real life hard-fact truth!
It finally weekend, and its going to snow soon, and i just found out that its already started, so euphoria is something i can vividly describe, but its not complete - I am not satisfied, because i am missing some people who are close to my heart.

"While the days slipped by from my window watching,
because the things you say and the things you do surround me,
while you were hanging yourself on someone elses words,
dying to believe in what you heard,
I was staring straight into the shining sun

Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of live and the seeds of change were planted

I took a heavenly ride trough our silence
I knew the waiting had begin
And headed straight... into the shining sun." - Coming back to life, Pink Floyd

The waiting has began...

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Resuming the social (or blogological) duties - Take One.

I will make a difference from now on. I will actually, finally, at last do what most people do – what the blog was all about – a web log – so to speak. Because I am too lazy to write something on hard paper? No. I do – just they are not public – not yet. But it is not only because I would love to read this crap after 5 years (I am optimistic about life and pessimistic about it’s counterpart-as you might notice!), it is also because It would give me some thinks to ponder upon, some idea to materialize while I listen to some pleasant music and have a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows on top! Boy ! Isn’t life just dull without the toppings (in each aspect)? Today is just a starter – its just the beginning. From now onwards I will bore you with the common mundane things of my life – our life, because without that I can’t spread the bad mood and as Calvin says; “Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around!” Enough intro – lets get down to business.

Today was just another day – so far. Mundane things at work, meeting, configuration, blaming, helping, stuff like that. Nothing special, nothing bad also. I walked from home to office – it was a nice cold and rainy morning – you would enjoy if you don’t have a heavy bag at your disposal! But again, if you don’t tire out, what’s the fun of walking ? Then in the evening when its time to do a bungy-jumping to home (and not to New Zealand), the road was covered with fog, like the morning’s rain was vaporizing; as inappropriate the comparison might sound, it was really breathtaking, I can assure you. Got enough spare time here, so finally I could resume my once-fav pastime of book-music-movies trio (I am just kidding – music was never out of the picture), I have become a member of the local library –they have awesome collections of book and DVDs also – though I am running out of DVDs more and more but still – its really worthwhile to occupy me whenever I feel, you know, depressed. There was one more thing which is to cheer me up – ice cream, but I haven’t tried that since I came here and yet I am surprisingly upbeat!

You know what’s really bug me? Calls late at night and they are not personal call at all. And yet the cruel irony is when the going gets tough – the tough gets going and if you really know me – the defense is the best offense for me because I am a vegetarian when it comes to hurting people, specially the ones I love. And now I am in my room – listening to Scorpion’s “Wind of Change” and thinking about the cruel irony – “is it really going to change at all? Where is the GOD who I don’t believe, give me some sign of snow – don’t you know its end of November? Am I really going to use the ice from the freezer to start a real good snowball flight? But to think about it, all the people who would really care about the snowball fight are so far away that the ball would melt before it reaches them – 1000 times !

Yet, I am surprisingly upbeat – you know why? I would be getting a laptop soon – bought (that is not technically correct, because the friend who paid for me – I am yet to pay him) and I am hoping it wouldn’t get lost in the morning traffic of New York City to Long Island! How small and mundane things to feel happy about it, isn’t it? But when you are homesick and you have alternative pleasant and rough day at your life and you know you have to smile because the worst is yet to come – paranoia is worse than feeling happy about minor composure. And see , they are making Dosa! I guess I will see you around in the blogosphere, maybe tomorrow, maybe not.

Aren’t you bored yet?

Saturday, October 6, 2007

An unorthodox analysis of knowledge in a not so typical New Yorker's diary!

"...... Till i'm no one again...

Await the light
embrace the darkness
and scream out to the sky,
watching life pass before me,
And the world I have inside,

I've seen the world, lived it all,
Seen it thru' my eyes,
The blinding shades of laughter,
I can see here as I lie,

As here I lie.......


--------- "Till I'm no one again, Parikrama"

Once upon a time i used think that knowledge is bliss. The more you know, the more you can share, and the more your skill will grow. Knowledge is of different type, some is useless knowledge, some is redundant and some is crap but again importance of something can be totally depend of perception and u know how people are - they only admit greatness when some authority confirms it!

This is not another memorandum of an indian who will waste a couple KB of web space and 1 hour time to tell you how great is America and how wonderful or blissful the experience is so far!As per Metallica, i can tell - "What i've felt, What I've known, never shined to in what i've shown". So this is an abstract depiction of an abstract idea called difference of knowledge that i have gained so far.

It's been almost 1 month now i'm outside of my four walls of familiar territory, it's not like i haven't been like this before. But that was for 3 months and most importantly i was not alone, some of my best (or worst!) friends were there with me. This experience is different altogether, notr because it's on a totally unkown country, not because it's different situation, but mostly because i don't have people around me i am comfortable with, people that i can click with! And forget about the irony that before coming here i didn't know anybody in here, not even by their face! In a way, it's a wonderful experience - i always like to meet new people and new culture bla bla bla... but deep inside it's still different, i am just trying to be indifferent, at least pretend to be. It's hard, 'cos i can't pretend sometghing i don't feel, but sometimes white lie is better than total pandemonium!

Life goes on. It will be for at least one and half years now. I know it. I just don't know that i know it. Not yet.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Poem: My world isn't changing...

A silent tear is the answer,
this world is revolving,
Days go by like a wind,
My world isn't changing.

memories are all i have now,
my life is flying,
nothing is out of the blue,
but my hope isn't dying.

This is my soul speaking,
want to take over my pride,
i fear i might not survive,
so i have nothing to hide.

Comfort is all i'm searching for,
every rose has it's thorn,
Will I find the peace again,
after the darkness is gone?

Poem: My Destination...

Another day has passed,
But I'm getting younger.
My heart can sense the unknown,
And my soul's getting stronger.

How can i depict
The ray of hope in the darkness?
Life is always uncertain,
every joy can bring sadness.

Still I cherish this moment,
Just another day in the paradise.
Don't know what tomorrow will bring,
After life rolls it's dice.

Another day has passed,
who is going to care,
nobody notices in this selfish world,
So this feeling I have no one to share.

Now I know what is loneliness,
But I feel it's nothing.
I can sense my destiny now,
My destination is my everything.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Right ? Wrong? Who Cares?

"There's no such thing as right and wrong; just popular opinion -- Jeffrey Goines (Brad Pitt's character), 12 Monkeys

it's a sixth sense that tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back where i started just becuase I didn't have the guts to say 'yes' to life? What's wrong in doing wrong anyway (obviously when it's not hurting anyone but me, otherwise that is a strict no-no, at least according to my defination).

If u think about it, it's like this, based on different human behavior we determine right or wrong, justice or injustice. It's hugely depends on ur angle of vision - how u determine a particular phenomenon to be right or wrong reflects ur judgment, ur perspective. Sometimes we don't go for the right thing, but the thing we perceive as right. there can be huge difference between what is right n what we perceive to be right.

"Is it a right to remain ignorant? I don't know, but I refuse to find out!" - Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes.

Isn't it the unspoken truth about our generation? Live, Have fun, don't get attached! Is it right? Maybe No. But still it is like that. Again it is a popular opinion. Now we are back to square one!

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

A Memoir...

Yet another day is gone,
Just the same old work to do,
Just the same old life to live.
Yet life is somehow different to me,
A feeling of emptiness has prevailed,
Are you the reason??
I hope not, ‘cos outside it’s the same,
At least that’s what I’m trying to show.
But deep down I know
I just need you.

So many memories, so much laughter,
Our life was a blast,
Now it’s a cliché, it’s somehow void,
Though I’m pretending that’s not true.
Life goes on; life takes away people you care about,
Reality is an illusion created by lack of alcohol.
People come and people go, but…
No one can replace you.

Who can say where the road goes?
Who can say if there’s life after death?
I’m on my way pops, I have to be,
It’s just that…
I’m missing you...

Monday, July 23, 2007


samosto diner seshe sisirer shabder moton
sandhya ase;danar roudrer gondho muche phele chil';
prithibir sob rang nive gele pandulipi kore aojon
tokhon golper tore jonakir range jhilmil;
sob pakhi ghore fere-sob nodi-furay e-jiboner sob lenden;
thake shudhu ondhokar ,mukhomukhi bosiber BANALATA SEN!!


At day's end, like hush of dew
Comes evening. A hawk wipes the scent of sunlight from its wings.
When earth's colors fade and some pale design is sketched,
Then glimmering fireflies paint in the story.
All birds come home, all rivers, all of this life's tasks finished.
Only darkness remains, as I sit there face to face with Banalata Sen!!)


She's a real nowhere person,
Sitting in her Nowhere Land,
Making all her nowhere plans
for nobody.

P.S: Is it? Is it Ideal? I don't know, but who cares, anyway?

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Love or Obsession...

I saw a girl in my dream, in my sleepwalk,
She was a person, her face was a blur, but it didn't matter,
It was just a matter of second but i thought I knew her.
Then i got to look at her closely, but without the face it's hard to recognize anyone.

I asked, "Do I know you from somewhere?". She smiled at me,
it was a simple yet flattering smile which made me tremble.
"Maybe in another life", She replied.
Then something happened.
Her blurred face was visible to me & i found myself numb suddenly.

I was looking at the lost love of my life & yet
I couldn't recognize her before.
I was stunned & feeling so foolish.
it's all in the face, it's in the eyes, and not in the body,
It's all time that matters, not sex, not even love.

"Do I care to spend more time with someone I love" - I asked myself.
Even if I couldn't, even if I failed to love someone,
Even if someone failed to love me, do I loose something?
Nothing equals nothing, why should i care,
Why i should i mourn for something that I never had?

This was when I woke up in the middle of the night,
And I was again feeling obsessed,
But then I was obsessed about my previous obsession.
This was the time to move on, this was the time to be free.
Who woke me?

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The contrasting duo - Love and life.

Life is a road, nothing you do can block the passage of time.
Life is a journey, though we are confused about the destination.
Love is euphoria, a reason to be missed by the loved ones.
Love is nostalgia, memory remains even if it is not there.

Life is a feeling, sometimes ecstatic, mostly dystopia.
Life is a waterfall, only static and mortal.
Love is a disobedient criminal, waiting for his capital punishment.
Love is like euphemism, only there is nothing called vice-versa.

Life is full of love, only if you are intelligent enough to choose it.
Life is a garden of hope if you don't know the meaning of expectation.
Love is a paranoia, a music for sensual instrument.
Love is life's own way of preserving memories.

Life and Love are two side of the river.
Love is the screen behind the mirror of life.
Life is the epitome of the abstraction of the observable universe,
Love is just our Milky Way within it.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Applied Thermodynamics : Is Hell Exothermic Or Endothermic?

Disclaimer: I was never even mediocre in Thermodynamics that i would even think of this concept, i got that from NET a few years ago, the source i don't remember, but hat's off to the author whoever wrote this. With this small disclaimer, i think we are a ready to roll....

Is Hell Exothermic Or Endothermic?

A true story: A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question:

Is hell exothermic or endothermic?
Support your answer with a proof.

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant.

One student, however wrote the following:

First, we postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving?

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.

1) So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.

2) Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

The student got the only A.

The PERFECTLY TRUE (so far!) "Official GOD F.A.Q" - believe it or not, got any proof to deny it?

Hi My Dear Theist/Atheist/Agnostic/Others! Friends,

Just stumbled upon a wonderful website : Official GOD F.A.Q which documents all "Frequently Asked Questions" about GOD - The Almighty. Regardless of religious belief, everyone would be interested to view the FAQ , so here's a screenshot of the page as well as link to the site.

Check it out :

Do mail
The international headquarters of The Official God FAQ if you have anything to update the FAQ portion (maybe you include me in BCC, I think I would be interested to know about that unlikely fact!

You believe it or not, got any proof to deny it?

Saturday, April 14, 2007

A 24 someone in the Blogosphere

Yes, i am 24 today. Yes, I am just a year behind for a quarter century! Big deal. This 24 is not 24 hours of my life (I am not Jack Bauer after all!) but 24 years, so If i start writing an autobiography, i might not be able to fit into this limited space. But most importantly, by the time i finish that nasty crap, it won't be my 24 birthday anymore, so i am postponing it for the future, let's say 48 (if i live that long!). If u know me then you should know that procrastination is one of the most favorite thing for me!

This day is somewhat different than the last 23 years of my life - a void - an empty space which i am not authorized to refill by whatever universal justice that controls the universe, at least i don't have any super power (what i know of). But otherwise how it is different from the last 23 years? Let me find out and maybe i will write a comparative study next year! Still being a quasi-optimist, i was looking for a ray of hope which is scattered everywhere, but i have realized that i just have to stop looking for it, then only i can find it. The best way to find something is to stop looking. Period.

What i have learned so far in my humble not-so-important-anyway life? When i write something, when i say something , i have learned that i have to be more careful, because of the YOYOW rule (You Own Your Own Words). I have learned to take responsibility for my own words. Part of my job now is also to take responsibility for other people's work, which i would hate to admit that I kinda like it! (as long as they don't screw it up, making me wanna eat their head!). All kidding aside, Some valuable lessons in life can't be taught, you just have to understand through your own course of actions. I know that. I have experienced that. Though i would say that experience is a marvelous thing that makes me recognize mistake when I repeat it. Probably that's why it's a common saying that never make the same mistake twice, there are so many new one to make! May be if I survive my 48
th b'day, i will describe all the mistakes i have done in reverse chronological order! Till then - no big talk.

So, All i will be doing today is being myself - and that means lazying around the home, i will live my life - another day in the paradise (quite an euphemism it is , i guess!), i will do exactly what i do always - spread the plagiarism everywhere! I will do what i like to do - driving.

"City lights shine on the harbour,
Night has fallen down,
Through the darkness
And the shadow
I will still go on.

Long, long journey
Through the darkness,
Long, long way to go;
But what are miles
Across the ocean
To the heart that's coming home?" - - Long Long Journey, Enya (album: Amarantine)

But if i could do something i really wanted all along - i would just go for a long drive at the outskirt - just enjoy the scenic beauty of the event of horizon.
I wanna live my way and lose my inhibition threshold. Instead i am sitting in front of the dumb terminal and writing this crap which nobody probably will even bother to read. Is that what they called "Blogadiction"?

I think. Therefore I know.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Can't get Music out of my head!

Have you ever tried the best way of washing your fatigue away, after a long hectic day? I come to home at night, grab a bite to eat and just lie down , turn off the light, and listen to sweet classical Enya or soothing instrumentals of Robert Miles or mysterious enigmatic score of Enigma and I think, "True heaven is a place on earth!"

I am probably one of the worst singer in the world, i am probably nothing compared to the hi-fi music lovers around the world, but "viva la musica" is something i could live upon, always. I can relate everything in life with some sort of piece of music, how crazy it might seem, it is true. Life's path in front of me now, and i don't know how to recite it. But i know how well i can narrate it with the help of a lyrics that's inherent in me, that's can be used to depict the ins and out of my humble life, i think it is true of others also. That's why I try to describe me with music. So it is not an atrocious way of describing my life when i say:

"But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
'Cause nothing I have is truly mine

I always thought
that I would love to live by the sea
To travel the world alone
and live more simply
I have no idea what's happened to that dream
'Cause there's really nothing left here to stop me

It's just a thought, only a thought

While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down
While I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try
Well how can I say I'm alive

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
'Cause nothing I have is truly mine..."

Dido has been always a favorite singer for me, but Life For Rent is something of an eye-opener for me , i couldn't find another more appropriate verse than this one.

It's a start - good or bad i don't know. Who can say? Only time!!!

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Are you a Geek? Here's ur fav kind of April Fool's Day coming!

Since you are reading this, even after viewing the subject line, i can only assume that you love pulling ur friend's ;eg in a geeky way! So, welcome! Join the club! Here's a lot of tip/tricks for you on april fool's day, just use whatever is suitable for you. And most importantly, don't show this to your would be victim before you fool 'em! Let the fun begins. Check out this awesome article at

Make sure you vote for the craziest geeky prank and add something, if you have anything in your weird mind. Don't forget to tell me - i might wanna use it on you!


Thursday, March 15, 2007

Some Longggggg words - will you even try to pronounce?

Got this on the net, don't know who's the author - so don't sue me with copyright violation!

"I got this from a top 10 book of 2002 It's at school so I can't get the exact meaning and all of them for now but here's the longest word not name it said: :-) Ornicopytheobibliopsychocrystarroscioaerogenethliometeoroaustrohieroanothropoichthyopyrosider- ochpnomyoalectryoophiobotanopegohydrorhabdocrithoaleuroalphitohalomolybdoclerobeloaxinocoscino- dactyliogeolithonpessopsephrocatoptrotephraoneirochoonychodactyloarithstichooxogeloscogastro- gyrocerobletonooenoscapulinaniac Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis comes in at 5 if I remember right tied with supercala..... don't know how to spell it.

Then names I was stunned at these names, I took the really weird ones not all of them:

1.) (This one was split up for some reason.)

Krung thep mahankhan bovern mahihtharayutthaya mahadilok pop noparatratchathani burirom udomratchanivetmasathan amornpiman avatarnsathit sakkathattiyavisnukarmprasit

This is a poetic name of Bangkok, Thailand I believe.

2.) Taumatawhakatangihangakoauaubtamateaturipukakapikimanungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahn

Maori hill in New Zealand

3.) Gorsafawddqchaidraigddanheddogleddollonpenrhynareurdreathceredigion

Fairbourne steam railway, Gwyneed, North Wales.

4.) Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrndrobwllllanstysiliogogogoch

Place named for the length of it's tickets by Gwynedd.

6.) Chargoggagoggmanchaugagoggchaubunagangamang

A lake near Webster, Massachusetts a Asian name."

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Sense - what's the big deal?

Human Sense is still a mystery, there are lot of researches going on to find out how exactly the brain works, how we perceive different information, how our brain interpret different information, which might vary from people to people, from time to time for the same people. On my way to become a good Netizen, i found this wonderful test. Just try to score more than 12, you will know that at least you are going somewhere!

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

To Utopia and Back...

I was just browsing through the Blog, when I happened to chance upon the word “Utopia” and found it to be the main theme set by my fellow Blogger. So, mostly out of enthusiasm to share my weird experience in this Blogspace, and somewhat out of curiosity for this interesting nomenclature of the Blog, I decided to put pen to paper, or for that matter, fingers to keyboard – whichever way you may like it.

It happened so, that last month or last week (again it’s your choice – whatever you like – both will take you to February), I received an invitation to spend a week in Utopia itself. The invitation was even more delightful because the invitation-card was signed by the Bearded Man Himself. It seems that ever since some inconspicuous writer called Dan Brown had tried to tarnish His character by bringing His love life into disrepute, He has been trying to maintain His public-relations well. Hence the invitation to insignificant earthlings.

Anyways, I was too overjoyed to receive it and my joy knew no bounds when the gates to Utopia came into view. Needless to say that I was not overjoyed to see the gates, but the two heavenly creatures who were flanking the gates, waiting to welcome into their kingdom, none other than me. To make it short, they were flawless. As they swayed their bodies in a sequence of practiced seductive moves in ushering me within the city gates, I could only imagine the week that lay ahead. Whatever it was, I was not one to complain.
Among other things, especially if you can concentrate on the environment rather than the Utopians, you will notice that Utopia is green with a capital G and that everybody is dressed in white. So, after changing into the customary white uniform, I gave myself up to the pleasures of Utopia.

To cut a long story short and for the benefit of the readers who could not stop imagining Utopians, I will not furnish any of the other mouth-watering details. It would suffice to say that at the end of the week I was least interested in leaving the place.
Yet as all good things eventually come to an end, my seven days in heaven also came to an end, and the customary time for feedback came (Yes they have it in Utopia as well). As I stood there ruing my chances, in front of the wise elderly man, he gave me a choice. It seemed that I had displayed impeccable behavior in Utopia (if gawking at female Utopians can be classified as impeccable behavior) and as recognition I could become its permanent member. As I was left thinking whether this really was happening to me and was trying to find the catch somewhere, the same way I try to find it in Credit Card offers in more familiar surroundings, the man came up with a condition. The following lines spell out his condition exactly as he said it:

Condition: “… The dynamics behind the happiness that you see all around you stems from a single rule. If you follow it, any place can be a Utopia. Needless to say, if you wish to stay back you will have to abide by the rule. The rule is simple: It is something like ‘Anything and Everything in Utopia is in share-mode’. Only then can you achieve the abundance and happiness that you see all around …”

As he continued to explain this so called simple rule, I slowly realized the full impact of his words. In ideal Utopian conditions there can be nothing that you can call your own, no wealth, no bank accounts, no fame, no power, not even the people you love. Because, according to him, it is this possessiveness that breeds greed and hatred.

But then where is the thin line between sharing everything and forsaking everything? I couldn’t have cared less. By then I was absolutely pissed off. The man’s reasoning, his logic, in fact now that I thought of it, everything about him sucked. I so wanted to leave the wretched place. Suddenly I wanted everything that I could possibly call my own.

Utopia was good for a vacation.
But I am not ready to be an Utopist. Not yet.
Ps: Somehow I don’t remember how I reached Utopia. I guess they have erased that part of my memory.

Sunday, March 4, 2007


What would you rather be, if you can go back to your childhood, when you were just six years old? Spaceman Spiff - Interplanetary explorer worldwide, or Stupendous Man or a giant T.Rex? or Calvin? I know the answer. You'd want to be Calvin, only then you can also be the things mentioned above as your alter ego!

Back in 1985, when Bill Watterson started writing this comic strip, everyone probably thought it'll be just another stereotype comic strip like the others, where you'll laugh your brains out and forget all about it. Well, the best thing about Calvin and Hobbes is probably the degree of maturity and wit required by its readers to digest it's true meaning. Though Calvin is only six, do you think all the jokes can be understood by an
average six year old? I even find a lot of grown-ups stumble in understanding some of the portions. The maturity level of this comic strip declares the unanimous challenge - "Are you brilliant enough to understand the brilliance of Calvin & Hobbes?"

Though a brilliant and thought provoking kid, Calvin finds it really difficult when it comes to Math, like most school kids. He usually hates kids and school and the education system in general ("Why waste time learning, when ignorance is spontaneous?") Through Calvin, Watterson has depicted a wide range of opinions in socio-political, psychological topics, even sensitive topics like education ("I don;t need to study! I don't need to learn!") and environment ("Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."). Calvin's hatred for education & the apparent bluntness of the education system reminds me of Pink Floyd's view on wrong education ("We don't need no education, We don't need no thought control"). But in the end it's Calvin's
mischief mongering is all that matters! It’s from the little guy that I've learned so many ways to crack a joke on someone!

What about Calvinosophy - the peculiar philosophy of Calvin on different topics? Yes, i am talking about the kid who can easily say ""Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words."! An hour or two of free time, one cup of coffee with one of Calvin's favorite snacks (cookie!) and a twisted weird mind of
his might help me jot down the philosophy in my own word. Let's see.

Friday, March 2, 2007

Just another weekend around the corner.

Hi Mr. (or Miss/Mrs/Master , whatever salutation it is!) another humble-blog-reader-of-my-another-humdrum-life-descripting-blog!

It's Friday, that means after a long and tiresome week, we are finally getting a weekend to spare some time without thinking about work or anything as such. Since I'm not particularly fond of writing my day-to-day experience in chronological order, or obviously you will be bored and bored and bored while reading that blog, so i have decided that i would do the same thing to bore you; because my blog is new, so the main audience of this blog will be my friends who might pay a visit here, after receiving so many life-threatening requests from me! So being a kick-ass, I would definitely want to pull their leg by writing all boring blogs like this.

In case you don't go away after reading so far, you might wonder what the fuss is all about - this blog - this bullshitting in an apparent utopian ambience like this. After mastering the art of writing absolute crap (i took quite a long time achieving this; almost 4 years !), i just want a post in my blog where i can write absolute bullshit in a sarcastic way - that's the main purpose of this post.

As i was sayin', it's weekend and I am home from office -- had a nice hot cup of coffee, my mom is preparing Khichuri (loosely translated, Gruel) - i am listening to my fav music and have a Calvin and Hobbes book with me to read - it's seems like true heaven is a place on earth!

Stay beautiful!

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Two and a quarter men!

Hello uncles and aunties!
I am a total SOB so Nils mah man has called me to counter all the goodness that he's tryin to spread via this blog of his. I can't really be his counterweight coz he weighs 30 kilos more then moi, but our brains weigh roughly the same! So without holding your breaths, do not wait for 'anythin spectacula', it ain't gonna come from me! I'll just try to be a very bad comic relief.

Now a bit self promotion:
my own blog
my orkut profile
And to make it a bit less self centred,
Nils da man's orkut profile

Cheers and Stay Sexy! ;-)

Just another blogger of the Utopian world

No special comments necessary .

Check out my blog if you want to read some bullshit writing (Story, Poem, Literature etc.) in my own hand, give comments if necessary, constructive criticism is always welcome. I love criticism, my life is full of it ! I'm still working on the the blog, and i don't want this space to be just another daily web-log, so suggest some innovative way to make it alive (utopic, if i may say!).

Thanks to all my friends who have helped me organizing my otherwise hapazard thoughts into a organized blog!

Stay Beautiful,

Poem: Just to be with the nature

The beauty of the nature will unfold its true identity,
Within the scenic surroundings of this godforsaken place.
Has it aroused the nature lover inside you,
Which was tormented by the day to day mess?

Come to the event of horizon in its wildest form,
River, forest, and mountain – everything got its own beauty.
Nothing can be more fascinating than mother earth herself,
I am neither ungrateful to be alive nor afraid of my duty.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

POEM: A rhetorical poem of loss

I dream of caring, the love of my life,
I felt like I’ve been seen the ray of hope.
I nurtured my dream in my silent prayer,
I never thought the passion could also term as dope.

You wanted to see me through the eyes of the sunshine,
I thought this is just an optical illusion,
I cared for the soul I loved,
I didn’t realize affection could also be delusion.

This is the aftermath of my pretended war,
I’m going to sink in the bottom of the sea,
Hope someday I’ll realize my mistake,
And will able to bring the best out of me.

I’ll miss the passion I always felt,
I’ll miss the pain in my eye.
I’ll bring the sunshine in my humble life,
I might pretend happiness but I’ll not lie.

POEM : Stillness of Silence

Listen to the silence,
Free your mind.
Wake me up,
Take me to the wind.

Silence is the best loudness,
Feel the unknown.
Do you ever wonder
Why death makes you mourn?

Watch the unthinkable,
Stillness of Silence.
Solve the paradox,
Try to make some sense.

Take me in your arm,
Show me that you care.
Throw me in the rain,
Steal but don’t let me share.

Read the illegible,
Stillness of Silence.
Decode them for me,
I’m broke, don’t make me tense.

Can you feel,
Can you hear the stillness of silence?

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Story of two strangers at Park St. Metro station

She was watching me for a long time. Don’t know if she was flirting or freaking the hell outta me (that’s a big contrasting thought, isn’t it?), but one thing is for sure, she’d wanted to say something to me but couldn’t, probably deciding whether she should. At last she probably had mastered the courage to do so, “Are you looking for something or someone in here? You have missed quite a few trains so far!” she smiled.

“No”, I said simply, “I am here for only one thing, I wanna kill myself today.”

Panic instantly struck her face, “What? What the hell are you talking about? W-wh-why. What, I mean, wh-why do you wanna kill yourself?” she started to stammer.

“It is my life; I can decide whatever I want, right? I have decided to end it. That’s why I’m here, metro station has always been loyal to suicide-seekers, isn’t it?”

“I think I better call the cops!”

“Don’t! I would simply deny everything, so it is you who will get into trouble for harassing them unnecessary. I don’t want anyone to suffer anymore, just because of me.”

“Ha! I get you; you are another heartbroken Romeo who think suicide is the best option to end all your life’s problems.”

“I think you don’t understand me. I am happy with my love life, I have a girlfriend who loves me so much and I love her too. It’s not what it seems to you.”

“Whoa! And you’d want to do this to your girlfriend? Can you even imagine how she will feel when she’ll find out what happened to you?”

“Life goes on. She’ll get over with it & find somebody better than me. Don’t give me those sentimental bullshit, I’ve listened to all those crap for a long time, it doesn’t make any difference to me. And why do you even care, you don’t even know me!”

“That’s not the issue here. I can’t think of a fellow human being ending his life, especially when he’s happy. It’s just pathetic. You can have only one life, you better make use of it and instead you’re thinking of ending it, even if you are happy in your life.”

“Who said I’m happy?”

“You said you have a steady girlfriend whom you love very much. That’s an apparent sign of being happy, don’t you think?”

“Let me think for a while, am I happy? Do you really think happiness can come from material satisfaction like a job, like a girlfriend or a wife, like having a fancy car and a steady household income, so that you can watch TV at home & catch the blockbuster Hindi film at INOX? How do you feel if all those you can do, you have the monetary gratification & yet it’s seems to you that you are not enjoying your life to the slightest – the only precious life of yours? How do you feel when you’re standing in the threshold of a new beginning in your life& just do nothing while watching the train of opportunity stops in front of you and moves away without you, like the trains in this station?” I smiled at her, while watching another metro passing away.

“Forget about the damn metro; I can’t watch you die, I don’t want you to die. It’s just so pathetic!”

“You’ve said that already. Probably you are also thinking that I’m some kind of psycho or suffering from some bad kind of psychological disorder or mentally unstable or something like that, don’t you?”

“Yes, obviously, that’s what a normal person would think, so, yes. But I don’t understand, when you’re saying all these things, it seems to me that you are perfectly normal, and then what’s wrong with you? You still didn’t give me an apparent valid reason to kill yourself. ”

“Well, 1st of all; let me tell you that I think I’m not suffering from any disorders as such. But then all sufferers would say this exact same thing, so I wouldn’t expect you to believe me. It doesn’t really matter if you believe or not. 2nd of all, I chose suicide ‘cos I feel my life is nowhere, I don’t feel that I’m doing something valuable to my life. In brief, my life sucks! So, there’s no point in paying taxes, doing the mundane things that I’m supposed to do; in short, spending on my life.” I feel that my life has lost it’s meaning, so in a way, it’s dead. I’m just finishing the rest of the work – since my mind is dead, there’s no reason for this body to exist. All worthless things meant for only one thing – deletion.”

I continued, “So, thanks for talking to me. I am now to finish my purpose. Don’t try to stop me, there’s no purpose served.”

“You know what?” She replied in a tired, droned voice, “I’ll not try to stop you from killing yourself. Probably you have the reason to do so, even when to the outer world you seem to be enjoying your life. But I can’t watch that, so let me go away & then do whatever you needed to do. But I must thank you; you have given me a new life.”

Now it’s me who was surprised. “What do you mean?”

She smiled sadly, “it might seem ironic to you, but actually I was here for the same reason as you!” Then she added, “Obviously your course of action I meant and NOT the reason behind do so. My love life had been a disaster & just the same usual things that always made people to think differently, you know. I will not bore you with my so-obvious story. But now I have changed my mind.”

“You did?”

“Yes, it seemed to me that I’m the unhappiest person in the whole world, how silly of me! Here I am, in the metro station, trying to end my apparent horrible life, where I met a person who is 100 times happier than me is thinking of the same thing because of some philosophical or psychological issue related to life. And I thought I was being justified in what I was going to do. Thank God, I didn’t. I have heard some extremes of justification in these 20 minutes and now I think we all have our own reasons to be unhappy. We all think that the grass is greener on the other side of the river. So what’s the point of ending my life when I see a person like you who is much happier than me seems to think just the opposite? Where this variety of angle of vision is leading us? You go ahead, pal, my best of luck to you in this last game of yours!” She rides on the incoming train. I tried to find her in the crowded compartment of the metro, but couldn’t. In a minute the train was gone. I just saved someone’s life but that has cost me one thing – my imminent death!

I stood still in that almost deserted metro station. Its 3PM in the afternoon on a Saturday, a few people were roaming around the station, waiting for the next train (at least I hoped so!). Nobody was paying any attention to the humble conversation between two people who were standing in the threshold their death. A person commits suicide in a metro station, all the passerby will be watching the gruesome scene with utmost interest, but probably nobody has succeeded stopping them beforehand; probably nobody has anticipated what that person is going to do in the next minute. I don’t know how I have anticipated it, probably because I was going to do the same. Before I end my life, I wanted to save at least one life. Maybe I won’t meet her again in my life, but she gave me a new horizon – why should I die when I have gave someone a new life? Life is always uncertain, this is the thing which keeps us alive, be it happiness or sorrow – everything is uncertain. That doesn’t justify ending this uncertainty, and thus life!
I looked at my cell phone. Three missed calls from the same number! I dialed the number and got engaged myself again while waiting for the next metro.

Little did I know that somewhere far in the running metro, she was also thinking about the same thing, “I hope I have saved his life. I have seen his face when I got into the train. Now I’m pretty sure that I will not find any news of suicide in tomorrow’s newspaper, remotely related to that guy!”

Sometimes in life’s path we meet some people, who we may not be seeing again but who give us inspiration in a way we might not even have dreamt about. Two people in the Park St. metro station have realized that today. Somewhere down the line all of us might realize that.

Who knows?

P.S: This is a problem faced by Metro stations all over the world.There are two methods available in foreign metro stations :
1) Platform screen doors at train or subway stations screen the platform from the train. This is the most effective way to prevent suicides.
2) Automatic platform gates are chest-height sliding doors at the edge of railway platforms to prevent passengers from falling off the platform edge onto the railway tracks. Like full-height platform screen doors, these platform gates slide open or close simultaneously with the train doors. As compared to platform screen doors, these half-height platform gates are relatively cheaper to install as they require less metallic framework for support. As such, some railway operators may prefer such an option to improve safety at railway platforms and, at the same time, keeping costs low and non-air-conditioned platforms naturally-ventilated. These gates, however, are less effective, as compared to platform screen doors, in preventing people from jumping onto the tracks.

Maybe someday this kind of safety precautions will be implemeted in India.

A Little Euphoria!

What’s the meaning of life? A neurologist is there to analyze the brain, but is there any “Lifologist” to ask? Everybody seeks happiness, but believe me – I’m not one of them. Happiness is not enough for me, it’s not what I want, I demand euphoria!

How am I going to get euphoria? Some says drugs like heroin, marijuana etc. brings that heavenly feeling. But I hate drugs! So obviously that’s not how I’m going to achieve it. Some says alcohol is the key. Well, there you go – I don’t hate it. In fact, it’s a de-facto standard for me when it comes to little enjoyment. But the amount of alcohol needed for “Euphoric divine” is beyond my jurisdiction! So I’m back to square one.

Man! Do you think I’m crazy? Do you feel I’m little bit psychic? Or I’m hallucinating and instead of doing things, I’m writing them? Well my dear friend, don’t worry. This is 100% of me in normal shape; it’s just that I need some euphoria! When it comes to philosophy, I know what I’m talking about, ‘cos I never studied that damn thing anywhere. So my thoughts will not be of bookish knowledge, but let’s face it, nothing but reality. Now how do you define reality? It’s a psychological equivalence of a psychedelic mind, distorted with euphoric experience of an ideal world! So my friend, welcome to the real world, it sucks! You gonna love it. Although right now I don’t, ‘cos I told you already, all I care about is euphoria, at least for the time being.

Coming back to the question, “How am I going to achieve euphoria?” If I’m to achieve that “Rhythm Divine” (not the song of Iglesias, but euphoria I’m talking about!), if I’m to achieve that heavenly feeling, if I’m to gather that in some sole possession, I have to do something thrilling or something big. I can try to buy a gold mine, which would be equivalent to doing something big (where I’m going to get that much of money is totally different discussions obviously!). Again I can visit Amazon and other exotic, almost unexplored rain forests around the world, which would be doing something thrilling (again whether I’ll be able to come back alive would be a matter of evening discussion over a pint of vodka!), but I’m confused already – Are those experiences at all considered as Euphoria?

Euphoria can be medically metaphorized as finding Venice treacle – it’s a grotesque chimera – a fantasy, whatever you wanna call it. Metaphor was always a huge tool for expressing the feeling of your mind (or soul, whatever), but there is no way we can metaphorize euphoria directly, since we don’t have an experience to use. But my way of achieving this feeling is speaking absolute bullshit, just like I’m doing right now! So, it’s a lousy way achieving euphoria, but yet an effective way. So, tell me my friend, what’s your way?

Nov, 2006