Thursday, November 5, 2009
Small things can make me happy, be it a little post it note in front of the fridge or a sweet nothing in my ear, or a simple thank you for something i have done. I think i have done something good in my life, because i stumbled in my life once in a while but it has been good as a whole. Life's obstacles has actually proven to be bliss to me so far, i have realized and set proper priority in both my professional and personal life and i have learned to ignore all the things i should be ignoring from the very beginning.
This is a post-it thank you note to my life from me. I am happy, but it's not like I'm euphoric. Maybe someday, maybe not, but i am not complaining. I have no regrets. I am me and I am indeed okay.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
I thought I’ve found the one I want to hold on to. I thought that I would be happy, by making you happy. Every single moment of my life in the last couple of years was dedicated to you. YOU. Then you dedicated your time to someone else, or at least looking for someone else. You admitted that to me and I was happy, didn’t think of me but of you, that finally you might be happy for a change. I thought you were happy and I will be able to make you happy, in spite of all differences that we have, ‘cos nobody’s perfect. The key to happiness is to find someone who will love you despite all the mistakes, who will be at your side when nobody wants to be. That gives life a purpose. A meaning. I guess I’ll always look for that purpose. Again. And Again.
I wanted you to be happy in life. No matter what happen to me, I will always try that. Some people will probably tell you to exploit that fact. Some people will probably tell me not to get exploited. In the end it does not matter. I tried so hard and got so far. We will survive, either with each other or separately. But will we be happy? Only time will tell.
If someday you want me to hold you in my arms and tell you everything’s gonna be alright, you know I will do just that. I will do anything for you, love is a decision to me and I chose to love you, in spite of anything. My love doesn't need a reason. If something unexpected happen and I get hurt by you, I might be devastated. But I will still love you. Because it’s YOU.
Will I find you in my solitude? Will you see me in another? We were looking for someone else. I know I'll find another. You'll find another. I'll never find you. You'll never find me. If we do, it will be us. Again.
And when we meet, Which I'm sure we will, All that was there, Will be there still
I'll let it pass, And hold my tongue, And you will think, That I've moved on.
I will go down with this ship, and I won't put my hands up and surrender,
There will be no white flag above my door, I'm in love and always will be.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Like the distant waves, my thoughts will keep you awake in your sleep. Most people don't know what is in our subconscious mind, not sure if that's something somehow somewhere will come out. Maybe it would be too late then, but still it's worth knowing, worth waiting, worth sharing.
Memories return. Somewhere. Somehow. Some time. Some place.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Though I'm Still a quasi-optimist, i have stopped looking for a ray of hope which is scattered everywhere, not just because I've found one, but i know by now for sure that how to hold on to it for life. I care. I simply will care, and i will show it too. It does not matter what people think, i don't care about them anyway! I know i'm gonna spent the day with my family and that's all it matters to me. Most of us don't remember this small anecdotes anyway.
I still wanna live my way and lose my inhibition threshold.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
30. First of all, make the list of thirty things i want to do - yes, this list i am talking about.
29. A trip to the extreme North Sikkim, India once more and this time no turning back at 17,150 feet anymore!
28. Decide to spend the rest of my humble life with someone I love and commit to it.
27. Go to Easter Island, Chille - my dreamplace for how long i don't even remember.
26. Visit a cemetary at night and spend some time alone there.
25. A trip to someplace near with my nephew and nieces - those who're very close to my heart.
24. Stay awake all night and do nothing.
23. Try not to think so much and just do whatever comes on the spur of the moment - at least for a day.
22. Find my dream-home.
21. Take a long drive to somewhere where no one knows two of us!
20. Ride a train, go somewhere without any destination and visit a place i know nothing of.
19. Buy a dog for our home.
18. Visit Agra to watch Taj-Mahal.
17. Teach how to drive a car to someone I love.
16. Learn how to make Lasagna.
15-1 : Find 15 more things to include in this list !!!
Now i realize at this point how lame is to create a list like this, where i can just do and not think or plan the list of doable things to be done before i turn 30 which is just 4 years from now! I am going offline now, see you in North Sikkim!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Tabuo bhalo lage or sathe thakte sobshomoy........everyone says that the feeling is like that.....its makes u feel the real utopia in life.....
But lately things are not that sweet....the feeling of tiredness has creeped in....I have become too demanding and he is too tired living upto my huge expectations....I am blind without him in life.....sottei andhokar dekhi....jani na ki hoyechhe
I know he reciprocrates my feelings but I crave every moment for him......kichhu bhalo lagena oke chhara.....the colours of life fade in his absence.......this is becoming a dangerously possessive feeling for me......
I want him to be with everyone.......but I want him to be with me......I am confused.....I don’t really know what I want....I am going mad.....but he says he can’t lose everything on earth for me........he is true from his side.....but I still fail to understand....
Am I going mad?.....I ask myself.......yeah maybe.......I really don’t know.....what am I suffering from??......Am i becoming pshychic??
Thursday, February 26, 2009
towards a sleepness night, with no moon in sight,
felling grumpy like a just-awaken baby
after a long sleep & then nature is calling.
Still i go on, for what its worth
I don't have the faintest idea about
what's going on in my life right now,
excess happienss is something make you cripple,
Yet there's no realization
of own self-esteem where I can
know & see that
I've accompolished something worthwhile
That feeling is one of the most irritating feeling
a grown man can ever feel in his life.
I move on.
From endless horizon to dark walls.
Tired, discontent, hungry,
A hungry mind knows nothing but food.
Obesity is undefined in his dictionary.
Days go by but I'll never forget.